My right to be single!!!

maybe i should change weight police into ’single girl’s life?”. i know i wasn’t disciplined in the past two days, due to many duties, work, work, then fighting with the person i care (fighting over the Skype – i do not like Skype or anything that may bring mal communication). I ate what I ate, I didnt worked out that much (or at all), i just lived. It is windy these days, and I start with my new job tomorrow. Plus, I’m peniless (which brought me yesterday to very ‘nice’ situations).

And now when I’m writing this, its 9.11 am, this early I got text message from the man who is after me and I do not want to see with (married with kids who live with their mom, selfish idiot?), and he likes to screw around (pardon me for my dictionary but here I won’t play my PHD’snessnessss…).

i am fed up with: people who are chasing me, who are after me, want to have sex with me and are – married, married with kids, on the egde to ‘divorce’ but still living misery of life,’screwing around’ guys, guys with girlfriends who wants to have another one or two or three of them at the same time, ‘i do not know what to do with my self’ guys, fearful guys, guys who doesnt knwo what they want, guys who doesnt know what they want from me and with me, guys who cannot or are not able to define what do they feel for me, guys who are not serious (you know what i mean).

Maybe I’ll remember more, but the point is is there any real man out there? Real, ordinary, simple, gentle, honest, caring man??? The one that would fight for me?

Are the good guys gone?

This is not anymore about me, my f****g 4.5kg (trust me I look gorgeous and I love exactly right now I look), my intelligence (I had to ‘hide’ my professional and life experience , skills, my values – as guys prefer not that ‘too much intelligent women’), my sensibility and emotions (yes I am now in PMS, so what?). I am fed up with all above.

I want and need some basic refurbishment – personal and for work and every day life (new cell, i want Apple notebook, i want new spring Camper shoes, and many basic things that I cannot afford now, for the reasons that I only know).

Ok, it’s 9.22, I didnt call that guy who wants (i really do not know what he wants from me, since his wife and 2 kids), and the one who supposed to call me, is not calling me.

I am brand new single young woman.

Voila!

 

lovely note from Lisboa

Today I got by surprise email from a ‘Y’ person from Lisboa , I didn’t expect at all, obviously admiring my work, and photographies I make (my ’side’ pleasure). It was funny to read his words (though people, there, I guess try to speak proper english)

Lets see if my english is enought to explain ))))

You are very interesting person because: your sensibility, i can see it thru your photos, you are independent, you have ’spirit’ witch means: caracter, willness, and you are wild too. Well, i am convinced that you are very interesting

I like to be your friend !

ok, this was about , i think i got the answer to those ‘ladies’ curious ones (want to know when I’m gonna get married), maybe this is the answer: my sensibility, character, spirit, wild(ness) in my own way, whatever, …+ One is waited

 

day 12

Today, since it was warm, I dared and wore my beautiful for daily occasions – little black dress-, above my skinny jeans – I am the creator of my own style and liek to mix things as I feel like in the moment. Two people at work told me that I am soo cute (one was my supervisor, she-boss? no, she is very freindly and nice woman), and many of them in the office asked me when I’m planning to get married (as some of them my age -31- already have kids, family, etc.). So, I walked later on after successful consultations and arrangement to give a speech on some Internet applications to their personel, outside to the sun and smog, and walked as the lines of cars and buses waited in traffic jam looking through their open window to this tall woman walking brisk(ly) up and up and forward. I came home after the food market and here is my diet weblog for today:

breakfast: 2 kiwis, green tea,  soya spread with small bite of cheese and soya spread, 200ml of yogurt

snack: banana

lunch1: pitta pastry with a bit of cheese and  spinach,plain tea

at the office, 3 cubes of chocolate (the guys begged me to serve myself )

lunch2 + dinner (home) : medium plate -full of the meal i didnt name it ,but it consists of: prepared onion, carrots, broccoli, peas, corns, potato, 100 gr of calamari, lot of herbs, olive oil.

After dinner: 250ml of juice+handfull of peanuts.

 

day 11

brief

breakfast:2 kiwis, green tea, one small slice of bread with soya spread and one boiled egg, 200ml of yogurt.

snack: sandwitch (medium) with feta cheese and olive, soya spread, whole grain bread+ cherry juice.

lunch: integral (whole grain) sandwitch.

snack: 4 dried figs, pineapple juice.

dinner: vegetables soup (fresh carrots, potato, onion, brocolli, herbs) + slice of whole grain bread.

after dinner: i’m eating hand full of peanuts (no salted no oiled).

workout: walking, running around up the stairs and back…(that doesn’t count)+ walking through the gridlock and smogy downtown.

 

my heart is broken

…and i’m very disappointed with a guy (shall i say man?), who is in love in me (he said so) and vice versa because of stupid media called Skype and misunderstandings in commnication: bad argument where i wasn’t understood at all, and I was blame due to limitations of digital stupid media , and lingering on his different lifestyle from mine, so i feel bad -not the first time, very upset. I was too much tollerating, although the guy is good, but cannot do it anymore. I cannot , i cannot be upset anymore, cannot wait and wait anymore, had very shitty day during the day then all this private thing added more to feel upset and bad instead of to feel great and i do not deserve tears.

My heart is broken, and i shall functinate tomorrow, i am out of my self, and the guy was one state far(away) from mine, and seemed close ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,im broken.

 

day 9

ok, i had very very hectic weekend and monday as well. sunday my menu was: fruits, pastry with yogurt and for lunch i had big portion of salmon with vegetables with rice, chinese mix food. very delicious. today, i made such a mess: breakfast – 2 kiwis, 2 eggs, 1 slice of bread, midsnack- croissant with cheese (bad bad very bad girl), then for lunch as i was working so much -had sandwich (a rich one with feta cheese, salad, ham, and can’t remember what was else, but bread was whole grain). then, i ate, when i came home, one banana, camomille tea, and ham with soya spread on slice of dark bread, as dinner, whatever. in some sugar craving moments, i ate 3, 4 dried figs and 2, 3 dried apricots. So, i am not daring to measure my waist today…I bought some food and I’ll prepare my own healthy sandwitch for tomorrow’s lunch, seems I’m getting into everyday 9-5pm schedule.

 

Day 8

…was yesterday and very hectic and I got a JOB (new one). So practicly I have 2 (though one is part-time). Anyway yesterday my breakfast was the same (kiwis, green tea, i made 2 scrambled eggs with linen seeds), later for snack: banana, lunch (slice of pizza), pre -test interview for job, then – real lunch was lots of vegetables boiled with lots of herbs and 150gr of calamari (how did i made to prepare between test and pause and the real interview- i dont know). So, after the late afternoon job interview, i ate the rest of calamari with veggies, and they called me to tell i got the job. I didnt count ( dont like that), but I ate 3, 4(few) dried figs instead of candies and that was all.

Plus: recereation, despite it was cold i was walking for more than 30 min. brisk walk though that made my heart goes really fast -but it worths as I felt really good later on in the evenings and wasn’t hungry at all. I guess tomorrow i will check my waist size

 

You: on a Diet

Great book recommended by my friend, this worked for her, totally new approach to dieting and working out. Check this out.

 

he is just not that into me?

another person, apart from everything, that i’m thinking about and he seems to like me – very often doesn’t show by action or deeds that he is really into me. seems, i said, as I am so insecure about this, i do not know what is going on. i spent nights , dawns hitting my head to the wall, methaphoricly speaking. i am empty. i am neither enthusiastic or whatever. one minus, another -then i remmeber i am not girl that ‘counts’; minuses, i am the one that appreciate honesty and action rather than words. And yes, i do believe in Valentine or the other Saint very familiar for me. Beacuse I come from Venus, and proud of it. I shall now think about anymore, why he didnt find any, any kind of way to call me, send me text message, or email. I overgrown that. Really.

 

Things a man should know about women

quote of the day: Women like a man who likes women who like to eat.